it >>>
always
comes back to >>>
the landscape
>>>

the

mediator

between

the

mediator

between

(in trying to move beyond i returned / was returned)

~umbilical ~ wave ~ networks of communication~

p. 20 sense in mind of not being here/there, no way out/in, as if door set up its own reflection > “caught between the two we live in the Diaspora, in the sea in between” > imagine people so stunned by their circumstances, so heartbroken as to refuse reality > space: measure of ancestor’s step through door to ship, one caught in few feet between: frame of doorway only space of true existence

p. 28
this existence in the diaspora is like that - dreams from which one never wakes.

who am i in my dreams?
where do i go?

ocean as breath
breath becomes the ocean
in breath catch
in and out
in wave crash

~~~ in search of stillness ~~~

a map to the door of no return - dionne brand

i might find a silence

in being heavy there is a weightlessness

https://elemental.medium.com/its-a-right-not-a-privilege-the-napping-resistance-movement-54fc147ba32b

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/18/style/self-care/healing-trauma-racism-wellness.html

https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2021/06/siedeh-foxies-guide-to-breathwork

Tricia Hersey: I would give people permission to reimagine what rest can be. Resting is anything that connects our minds and bodies and souls. Resting could be daydreaming, resting your eyes. It can be a longer shower in the morning. It could be not returning the text immediately. Detoxing off of social media and technology. From a biological standpoint, when we rest, our brain is doing so much beautiful work. It's really in a productive state of downloading new information, helping our organs to heal. And so, even from the biology of it, we really need to uplift rest and center it in our lives just for our health and wellness.

herbal tea recipe

ancestral technologies of resistance

There is softness in being still. There is life to be found in leisure.